For that matter, when you give someone a gift you would really rather not give, do you actually get a tick for your generous action, or a cross for your negative thoughts? When you do somebody harm but bleed inwardly as you execute it, are you bad because you caused harm or good because you felt bad while doing so? When you told your friend you forgive her but secretly desired to wring her neck, were you good or bad?
It’s true that since nobody can really figure out your thoughts, people would generally judge you for your actions. But the point is are you really, really good when just your actions are good? Or, do you need the solid backing of pristine clean thoughts and emotions as well?
Sometimes we just cannot help our thoughts and feelings, however we may try. But actions are certainly within our control. How can you avoid hating or thinking ill of the person who harmed you intentionally? And yet you can easily mask that hatred and act as if nothing is wrong.
Yet you can hold yourself back from acting on that impulse. And this ability is probably what keeps us all sane and civilized…
And if thoughts and emotions are not within our control most of the time, why should one feel guilty because of them? So long as your actions are correct, should what you think or feel make you guilty? Kindness and goodness cannot always be about how you feel or think, but about how you act… surely we are judged not for our thoughts, but for our actions, which are within our control? So then why feel guilty about any wayward thoughts?
The reason there is a gap between what you think or feel and the way you act is because of the clash of values in almost every circumstance. Those who have clear cut values are more likely to have thoughts that result in action. These people are mostly clear about what they want; are well-respected and looked up to. They are also likely to be predictable people who lead fairly predictable lives.
However those who have a more flexible value system are more likely to have conflicting thoughts (the result of what they are) and actions (an attempt to conform to the socially acceptable.) Their thoughts and actions waver forever to suit every different circumstance.
Not all thoughts become action, though all actions emanate from some thought or feeling.
But can you change your thoughts? Do you have the same control over them as you do over your actions? There are those who say that one can control one’s thoughts if one tries hard enough. And yet, for all the high moral ground occupied by many, I would like to meet one person who has never acted against a thought or emotion. However, even though you may not be able to control all thoughts, you can certainly choose the thoughts that you wish to act upon.
And therein lies the key to the rather complicated relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions…
In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson,
“Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything.”
And by carefully choosing the thoughts we wish to act upon, we are able to establish habits and so help formulate our own character.
1 comment:
wonderful article..thnks for sharing!
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